Monday, May 29, 2017

What It Takes to Cry

“But a mermaid has no tears, and therefore she suffers so much more.”  
―  Hans Christian Anderson

Χαθικε - Lost, Missing
It's spring and the fields are full of life.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     But this little guy is missing.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    
I have noticed that sometimes the tears don't come until after I tell somebody.  That happened today. I said, "One of my cats is missing."  And the tears came.  What was, over the weekend, one after another sudden attack of ungodly pain, assaults on my heart I tried desperately to run from, distract myself from, bargain with God over, were transfigured into water, and came flowing out of me in tears, only in the presence of another human being, and only after I said the words:                                                                                                                                                                                                
"One of my cats is missing."

It's something I don't understand.  

“It's so curious: one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses. ”  

To me the meanest flower that blows can give
Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears.

 William Wordsworth